AND MISERY LOVES ME

i cannot remember when last
i was as that which is capricious
and plays upon life's gentle wind,
far too long have i been weighted down
by that which seems my constant and faithful companion.

misery, how good you have been to me,
never have you failed me,
never have you abandoned me.
even during moments
which should stand radiant in my mind,
you were there.
the day i wed,
whispered you to me lovingly
of the woes love would bring.
the birth of son,
the birth of daughter,
through those moments of glorious pain
and exhausting relief,
whispered you to me,
hand stroking with soft pulls
my sweat soaked hair,
of the hardships that i would face,
poverty stricken as i was.

misery, o misery
how you cherish me.
so well have you kept your heavy shadow
cast upon me,
offering me your malcontent,
nurturing my ever present fears
for future unknown.
and misery, sweet misery,
how i cherish you as much as you cherish me.
embraced you wholeheartedly have i,
allowed you to make of me
the desolate creature that i am,
permitted you to lay waste my precious dreams,
listened to you, as in adoring croon
you told me how naught would come of me,
how i needn't even try
for all my efforts
would fall miserably short of success.

o misery, dear misery,
do not dare leave me.
you are all that i know,
without you i would be happy,
and what is happiness but a blissfully ignorant state
where dwell fools and children.
no misery, you are well deserved,
wretched was i in my youth,
frivolous and abundantly shallow,
i called you to me.
and in your answer i found that which i sought,
that which i required,
that which would allow me to accept the shambles
i had made of my life.

in your sad song, o misery,
sweet misery, dear misery,
my misery,
i found apathy,
and it is this gift and only this gift
which devotes me so cruelly to you.